I had a bit of an epiphany the other day. The American ideal has us set out on a pretty specific path, if we decide to travel it. I did choose to travel that path. I never really considered another path, and I know because of that I bring with me a certain amount of privilege and gratitude. The path I’m talking about is the one where we:
I followed this path too, and while I'm not regretful, I wish I hadn't sped through it quite so quickly. It's not a terrible order to go in, but the way I felt like I needed to bam, bam, bam, cross off the to-do list as quickly as possible left me with not much left to look forward to in my early 30s. I have some friends who are mid-30's, also following the path but at a slower pace and with bigger breaks between milestones. Now they're two adults with dual incomes and no kids - and maybe it's the sleep deprivation, but I keep thinking, yeah that might have been a nice phase to chill out in for a little longer.
A few years back, a friend and I were commenting on how were were in the void of questions period of our lives.... You graduate high school, people ask about your college plans, you graduate college and people ask about where you are going to work, you start to date and people ask when are you gong to get engaged, you get engaged, it's when is the wedding, you get married, it's when are you going to have a baby, you have a baby and then it's when is #2 coming , you have a second child and then it's.... nothing!! All questions stopped. They stopped until my daughter was a high school senior and then the college question started.... Will I get all the other questions just now about my kids???
I think about this A LOT and sometimes I feel a bit of regret for not doing things differently. I'm generally content but I look at my younger sister and see how free she is in her late 20s. It's hard not to feel a pang of jealousy.
I followed this path too, and while I'm not regretful, I wish I hadn't sped through it quite so quickly. It's not a terrible order to go in, but the way I felt like I needed to bam, bam, bam, cross off the to-do list as quickly as possible left me with not much left to look forward to in my early 30s. I have some friends who are mid-30's, also following the path but at a slower pace and with bigger breaks between milestones. Now they're two adults with dual incomes and no kids - and maybe it's the sleep deprivation, but I keep thinking, yeah that might have been a nice phase to chill out in for a little longer.
A few years back, a friend and I were commenting on how were were in the void of questions period of our lives.... You graduate high school, people ask about your college plans, you graduate college and people ask about where you are going to work, you start to date and people ask when are you gong to get engaged, you get engaged, it's when is the wedding, you get married, it's when are you going to have a baby, you have a baby and then it's when is #2 coming , you have a second child and then it's.... nothing!! All questions stopped. They stopped until my daughter was a high school senior and then the college question started.... Will I get all the other questions just now about my kids???
Oh you're right! It's absolutely a cycle that will just continue. And also is this part of why parents are so eager to become grandparents?
I think about this A LOT and sometimes I feel a bit of regret for not doing things differently. I'm generally content but I look at my younger sister and see how free she is in her late 20s. It's hard not to feel a pang of jealousy.
I totally get what you mean! It's fun to play the "what if" game with myself until it's not.