Last night was a bit brutal. Our baby is going through a developmental leap or teething or he’s sick, so he’s a fusspot all the time. And our toddler is a toddler. She didn’t like the meal served as lunch yesterday, so she didn’t eat it. I quickly prepped Beef Stroganoff before picking her up from school so we wouldn’t have to wait forever for it to cook. And usually, any combination of noodles and ground beef is a hit with her. Well, not last night. Last night she only wanted ice cream for dinner 🫠 Then she fought my husband and me to go to bed, then I remembered I had a quick work call, a storm was rolling in, etc. After 8:30, my husband and I sat on opposite sides of our living room doom-scrolling in complete silence (except for the howling wind and the TV giving us a weather report). I don’t think we said a word to each other for a solid 40 minutes.
Neither of us was mad at the other or the evening. We just needed to decompress. Like many people, our days are go, go, go. We wake up, get ready, get the kids ready, get them where they need to go that day, work all day, pick up the kids, feed everyone, get everyone ready for bed, prepare for the next day, and then relax. And yesterday was exactly that. And that’s been pretty much every day of our lives for the past year since our oldest started daycare.
Finally, the break in the silence was my husband asking me a simple but loaded question, “Are we boring?” I responded with “Yes”. He sighed. I sighed. And then we talked about the things we want to do together and with our kids. I talked to a friend who invited all of us to visit yesterday. The weather is finally cooling down so maybe we can start to get out of the house in the evenings more now. How maybe we can actually get out more on the weekends now that it’s not going to be an unbearable 95 degrees by noon. How we’ll prioritize doing something fun just the two of us very soon.
One of the nice things about living in Texas is that the weather is mild and wonderful about 9 months out of the year. October through May is prime time to be outside enjoying your life and all there is to explore. June through September are absolute hell on earth. Now that we are finally coming out of the awful summer months (and an especially hot one at that), being able to get out of the house is taking top priority. I can’t wait to take the kids to the zoo and do more exciting things with them outside of the house.
But that still doesn’t account for our own personal boringness. My husband has half a billion hobbies that he could easily indulge in if he had the resources. Time is tough right now with two young children, but money is also more challenging just because everything is so expensive. My hobbies are all more affordable, but I do a terrible job of setting aside time for them. I’m quick to let them go in favor of making it easier on the rest of the family.
And, as a couple, embarrassingly I can count on one hand the number of date nights we have prioritized since our oldest was born. I’m the first to tell everyone they need to prioritize date nights and then I don’t do it for us. But I know how important they are because every time we do have that time together, it’s really special. We started doing a Friday afternoon lunch date and that was nice but is totally dependent on what our work schedules look like. For the past month or so, Friday dates have been getting put off because we’ve both had work obligations.
So, what can we do to be less boring?
Before it got really hot this summer, we made a list of places we could go for a family day outing. Our plan was to do one big outing a month but ended up only doing it once when we went to an aquarium. Now that it’s cooler, that list expands quite a bit and we can recommit to one big outing a month. We always make the excuse that it’s such a hassle to go out with the kids, but it is always worth it.
Do a better job of just getting out of the house on the weekends. Even if it’s just going to the park down the street, it will make us all feel better and give us something to look forward to.
Bring back Friday lunch dates.
Find a new show to watch together in the evenings.
I’m going to try out different hobbies that allow me to actually produce something to see what I like. I enjoy cooking, baking, and reading but as we head into the cozier months I want to try knitting or crochet.
Does anyone else feel like they are awfully boring? Is this just a phase that exists when you have little kids? Or is life doomed to be boring forever now? I’m spiraling.
xoxo, Kate
Man I feel this so hard. Life with kids sometimes (lol... all the time) feels like Groundhog Day. One thing that’s helped us is that each of us gets one night a week where we can do what we want and sleep in the next day. That’s helped a lot make me feel like myself. Sometimes that means I’ll go to a cafe and read or watch a movie alone. I desperately just need some time alone. We’re lucky that we have family nearby so we’re able to do “date nights” once every month or two. It should probably be more but right now I need time to myself a little bit more...